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It snowed a lot that winter, and I hardly biked at all. One Saturday we went to a matinee, and I spent the whole movie worrying over my stomach, which was tying itself into increasingly elaborate knots.

I felt better once the movie was over and we were back outside, and better still after a couple drinks, though I had to fake my way through our discussion of the film, which had something to do with French schoolchildren.

“I could tell, even from the beginning, you weren’t totally over your ex.” 5. In books about meditation you’re told to picture your mind as a conveyor belt: a thought appears, you consider it, and then you pull the lever to whisk it away.

The key to uncluttering your mind isn’t stillness, but motion. But my mind is more like a lazy Susan, the same thoughts circling past again and again. I tried, just now, to estimate how many first dates I’ve been on in my 30s, but I don’t even know where to start with that math. One of the most important lessons of online dating is that it’s best to meet up with someone fairly quickly, rather than waste a bunch of time sending long-winded messages back and forth.

I’m not suggesting any particular biking-dating correlation. The most important piece of equipment for winter biking is a good pair of gloves.

These are just the facts of my life, the way these facts have arranged themselves. First dates and second dates and third dates and sometimes, though far less often, fourth and fifth dates. You’d be surprised how many lousy gloves exist in the world.

When I described the cinematography as “claustrophobic,” she gave me an odd look. The internet makes it far too easy to learn these things.

I remember that she saw an analyst — that was the word she used, the first time I’d heard it outside of Woody Allen movies — and they sometimes spent an entire session decoding her dreams, which sounded to me like a delightful indulgence.

I have mostly fond memories of the couple months we spent together.

I remember that we sometimes shared a late-night cigarette on her fire escape.

This is why people take walks to clear their heads. It’s not why I started biking, but it’s one of the main reasons I’ve continued. It’s like one of those dim sum places where the waiter keeps wheeling over the cart of Americanized Chinese food — General Tso’s, pork lo mein — when what you really want is whatever that table in the corner is having. There are too many things you can’t know until you’re sitting across from each other.

My friend Colleen says “first date” is the wrong term, actually, that instead we should call it “date zero.” You meet for coffee or a couple beers.

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Usually we knew each other a while first, so when we decided to be together we were just : an all-or-nothing proposition.

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