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Now the tech visionary who founded Grindr is launching a version for straight people. I'd be milling around a trendy Sunset Boulevard dive, or lounging in a French Roast restaurant about a block from where I live in Manhattan. The photos came in a few varieties: guys trying hard to look really bored though super-cool; nude, hirsute torsos; guys doing that ridiculous bathroom-mirror self-portrait in which the subject always looks surprised even though he himself has just snapped the shot.

I'd take out my device and tap on the black-and-yellow tribal-mask logo of Grindr, an app that lets guys use GPS to meet other guys who are ten steps away or a hundred. Guys calling themselves "Hard" and "Hung 2 Hang" offered cheery requests pertaining to the act of love: "Top bunk, don't be a fuckin' girl, 420-friendly."The Chat, too, was of the highest quality.

And you suffered pure sensory overload and a panicky feeling, like your home was being invaded by crazy people?The IRC Devivals have been a smashing success, and a number of the greatest celebrities in our Church have become regular participants each week.Such luminaries as Popess Lilith von Fraumench, Dr.Of course, everybody except the very rich eventually graduates from AOL into the real Internet and its deeper, faster, infinitely more esoteric IRC realms, where sentences are longer than three words and nobody endlessly repeats the sentiment, "kewl." This is where you encounter the dreaded hard core IRCers (rhymes with lurkers and irkers).The minute you land in their midst they must show off their respective bags of tricks and, using their impenetrable jargon, urge you to do scary-sounding things to your computer's innards. It's not a disease; they're only trying to share control over the room.) You think REGULAR computer geeks are incomprehensible?

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