I’m very blessed that I’m here to guide my children in their walk as TCKs, but truth is I like how my husband is Korean.
His lack of an identity crisis gives me a stronger identity sometimes: I’m the wife of a Korean. It’s like…at the very least they have an anchor somewhere.
So my suggestion is to forego judgments and listen first.
Listen to the story of your partner, and when he or she is done talking that’s when you make an input.
By writing your emotions on your journal, you’re releasing it without making other people think badly of you or your husband. I realize that some cultures don’t see “discussions” positively, but it’s necessary to communicate one’s point and also be open to the other’s opinion.
Keep shouting to a minimum, or none at all if possible! How old are they and how does your cross-cultural marriage affect them? 🙂 One just turned two and the other is three-and-a-half.
It’s usually me who starts talking to him first, even if I’m still mad.
But by talking to him I’m giving him the opportunity to try as well.
When we’re both in a comfortable space, that’s when we start talking.
What has been one of the greatest challenges about being married to a monocultural spouse?
In my nuclear family, no one really understands what I’m going through when it comes to understanding my identity. We talked about how we wanted to raise our kids, and he mostly lets me decide.